Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
