i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
