Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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