did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
