Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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