I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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