The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
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Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
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Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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