Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
