After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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