He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
