Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
