Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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