So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
