I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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