Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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