A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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