I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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