I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
