and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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