i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize