Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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