the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
