Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
