i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
