We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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