"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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