I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
