I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
