i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
