He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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