I'll bet she douches with gravy.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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