do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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