what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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