U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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