i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
