found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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