8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
