the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
