I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
