He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
