i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
