grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
