I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
