I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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