That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
