the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
