Cold hands, warm shart.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
