The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
