I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
