I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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