YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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