allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
