I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
