There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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