id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
