Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
