They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
