Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
