she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
