Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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