You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
