Screwed.edu
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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