I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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