What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
