The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
