Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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