Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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