I wish I could punch you in the face.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
