plz talk dirty to me
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
