I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
