I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
