this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize